Saturday, October 25, 2008

BudgetSex: Free Condoms (and Testing!)

In these hard times (no pun intended) it's difficult to find cheap, or free, entertainments to pass the time away. However, there is one activity that will always be available to the masses free of charge: Sex!

Or is it? Condom prices are pretty ridiculous these days; a 12-pack of condoms at Duane Reade will run you anywhere from $11-$15. That's about a dollar a condom! Ridiculous!

Fortunately, there's a free alternative in New York City, with no loss in quality. NYC offers the "NYC Condom" at it's health clinics in all five boroughs. They're just regular Lifestyles brand condoms with a fancy wrapper and you can take as many as you want. They also have female condoms and lubricant packets as well!

"But, I need extra large condoms," you say? To which I say: Aww, poor fucking you... do you actually expect pity for that? Turn your head and cough up the money! That's what you get for having such a big penis, you dick (pun intended). Though, seriously, try the female condoms and lubricant if the regulars are too small and you need another free option.

And just as important, NYC provides free STD and HIV testing at these health clinics as well. There's often a bit of a wait, so the trick is to get there before they open (Doors open at 8:30am at most locations, so get there at LEAST at 8am). That way you'll be in and out within an hour or so, rather than sitting there all day. In any event, bring a book just in case things take longer than you expect.

Oh, and if the clinic is closed and you're in need of protection, also know that Lifestyes is a brand that also is sold in three-packs at 99-cent stores. But being a Budget Bachelor is about PREPARATION! Have condoms on hand before you need them.

Knowing and protecting your health status, whatever it is, will be a big relief and let you enjoy your life more. And that's what a Budget Life is all about!

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